Grumpy Octopus - Pirate Parley

Pirate Parley Episode 12: Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Men Tell No Tales

Welcome to our final episode for this mini-podcast series, Pirate Parley! And unless Disney has other ideas, it’s also our final discussion on the final Pirates of the Caribbean installment —Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales! Audio and technical difficulties aside, listen to us chat about alternative subtitles (Pirates of the Caribbean: Legacies. Generations. Pirate Babies. Scrum’s Revenge), Faramir as our discount Norrington, Javier Bardem/Orlando Bloom/Keira Knightley all lookin’ rull good, and canon conflicts with curses and compasses. Oh, also, random spoiler alert for Blade Runner 2049, Solo: A Star Wars Story, and Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. Sorry about that. Hope you enjoy! 

Pirate Parley Episode 11: Pirates of the Caribbean - On Stranger Tides

We’ve returned back to the Pirates of the Caribbean universe with the fourth installment, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011). Listen to us discuss this oddball installment as we talk about the back to basics mantra, Barbossa with his fancy sliced apples not giving a fuck, the mermaid and the missionary aka the breeding pair with a Splash ending, and Jack’s passion for immortality over the Pearl. Hope you enjoy! 

Pirate Parley Episode 10: The Pirates of Penzance

We return with a bit of a musical shake up in our Pirate Parley podcast, The Pirates of Penzance (1983). Listen to us talk about Kevin Kline’s leather pants. There’s probably some other stuff about pirates and musicals, but let’s be real. Kevin Kline’s leather pants. Hope you enjoy (Kevin Kline’s leather pants)!

Pirate Parley Episode 9: Treasure Planet

Hello Loyal Listeners! With so many classic iterations to choose from, we finally landed on Treasure Planet (2002)! Listen to us chat about Disney’s classically maligned/under-appreciated animation box office bomb as we explore the Treasure Island storyline! In space! From throwing in a board (surf or skate, you choose) so kids can relate and Scroop the evil crab that makes you want to poop, to interspecies cat/dog mating dynamics, Morph’s “Airbud moment” and Jim Hawkin’s kill count and killer (questionable?) haircut, we’ve got it all! But most importantly: justice for Mr. Arrow! Hope you enjoy!

Pirate Parley Episode 8: Shipwrecked!

We’re back Loyal Listeners with a bit of an odd installment, Shipwrecked! (1990), an obscure Disney/Norwegian classic pirate adventure that’s essentially Home Alone: Tropical Island, but with a random gorilla thrown into the mix. Listen to us chat about guns made of glass, a ship captain with a heart of gold and a stomach of poison, passive aggressive milk chugging, Jens “I’ll be your cruise director and hot blonde mentor on this adventure”, Haakon awkwardly not knowing what orphans are, and Gabriel Byrne wearing the hell out of some leather pants. Hope you enjoy!

Pirate Parley Episode 7: Hook

Hey Loyal Listeners and welcome back to our latest Pirate Parley episode, Spielberg’s cult classic, Hook (1991). Listen to us discuss the Avengers-style team up potential between Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, and Christopher Robin; Hook’s confusion with procreation; Smee’s adoption plan (it includes Pirate baseball); Rufio’s bitchin’ tri-hawk; the continuing mystery of child-sized pirate outfits at the ready, and the incomparable Robin Williams. Hope you enjoy!

Pirate Parley Episode 6: The Goonies

Hey Loyal Listeners! We're back, shaking it up a bit with our latest Pirate Parley episode, The Goonies! Listen to us discuss the Fratelli's hand-blender skills, Josh Brolin's career from Baby Brand to Thanos, Mouth and his Duo Lingo prowess, Mikey's pirate fugue state of exposition, and what you've all been waiting for: the return of Joey Pants. Hope you enjoy!

Pirate Parley Episode 5: The Sea Hawk

We continue our streak of Errol Flynn pirate movies in today's Pirate Parley episode, The Sea Hawk! In this oar-snapping good time, listen to us chat away about the World War II pro-British politics that not-so-subtly snuck in, the return of pet monkeys (finally), the good old philosophy of a Captain going down with his ship (for a dignified 2 seconds of course), and light/traumatic romps in Panama swamps. Hope you enjoy!

Pirate Parley Episode 4: Captain Blood

Ahoy Loyal Listeners! We’re back with the black and white swashbuckling classic, Captain Blood, starring Errol Flynn and Olivia De Havilland! It’s a toe-shooting good time as we discuss the titular Australian-accented-but- still-technically-Irish doctor/pirate/captain/hero, Peter Blood! Listen to us chat about helping a governor out with gout, Basil Rathbone’s tragically good fencing skills, and (of course) consensually celebrating in pirate fashion! Hope you enjoy! 

Pirate Parley Episode 3: Pirates of the Caribbean - At World's End

 And we’re back with our final installment in the original trilogy, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End! Listen to us ask the hard hitting questions like, “How far away is Tia Dalma’s hut from Singapore?”, “Is Hector Barbossa marriage material, or just a really bitchin’ officiant?”, “Why is this installment not called Pirates of the Caribbean: The Musical when ‘Hoist the Colors’ is such a killer bop?”, and the most important of all: “How the frig does this curse thing work?”. Hey, what happens in Davy Jones’ locker stays in Davy Jones’ locker. Hope you enjoy!