Grumpy Octopus

Welcome to the first official episode of our Del Toro Discourse podcast! We’re kicking it off with a bang, covering Guillermo Del Toro’s debut film, Cronos (1992)— which coincidentally is also the debut of his collaboration with Ron Perlman (who we already suspect is going to become the MVP of this podcast). Listen to us discuss how the film twists vampire mythology, introduce The G.I.C (Guillermo Injury Count), as well as chat about the hilarious morbid (or morbidly hilarious) Tito, and our imagined off-screen ballroom dancing storyline for Mercedes. Hope you enjoy!

Wait, what’s this? We’re back? That’s right! We have revived the Wachowski Watch podcast for one last episode a la Lana Wachowski reviving Neo and Trinity for one last adventure in The Matrix Resurrections. We are delighted to return to chat about the fourth (and likely final) installment in the franchise with a Wachowski at the helm. Listen to us discuss the meta evolution of the sequels, the Sense8 reunion, and what it means to bring back icons like Keanu & Carrie-Anne. But mainly Cybebe.

Welcome to our final episode for this mini-podcast series, Pirate Parley! And unless Disney has other ideas, it’s also our final discussion on the final Pirates of the Caribbean installment —Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales! Audio and technical difficulties aside, listen to us chat about alternative subtitles (Pirates of the Caribbean: Legacies. Generations. Pirate Babies. Scrum’s Revenge), Faramir as our discount Norrington, Javier Bardem/Orlando Bloom/Keira Knightley all lookin’ rull good, and canon conflicts with curses and compasses. Oh, also, random spoiler alert for Blade Runner 2049, Solo: A Star Wars Story, and Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. Sorry about that. Hope you enjoy! 

We’ve returned back to the Pirates of the Caribbean universe with the fourth installment, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011). Listen to us discuss this oddball installment as we talk about the back to basics mantra, Barbossa with his fancy sliced apples not giving a fuck, the mermaid and the missionary aka the breeding pair with a Splash ending, and Jack’s passion for immortality over the Pearl. Hope you enjoy! 

We return with a bit of a musical shake up in our Pirate Parley podcast, The Pirates of Penzance (1983). Listen to us talk about Kevin Kline’s leather pants. There’s probably some other stuff about pirates and musicals, but let’s be real. Kevin Kline’s leather pants. Hope you enjoy (Kevin Kline’s leather pants)!

Hello Loyal Listeners! With so many classic iterations to choose from, we finally landed on Treasure Planet (2002)! Listen to us chat about Disney’s classically maligned/under-appreciated animation box office bomb as we explore the Treasure Island storyline! In space! From throwing in a board (surf or skate, you choose) so kids can relate and Scroop the evil crab that makes you want to poop, to interspecies cat/dog mating dynamics, Morph’s “Airbud moment” and Jim Hawkin’s kill count and killer (questionable?) haircut, we’ve got it all! But most importantly: justice for Mr. Arrow! Hope you enjoy!

We’re back Loyal Listeners with a bit of an odd installment, Shipwrecked! (1990), an obscure Disney/Norwegian classic pirate adventure that’s essentially Home Alone: Tropical Island, but with a random gorilla thrown into the mix. Listen to us chat about guns made of glass, a ship captain with a heart of gold and a stomach of poison, passive aggressive milk chugging, Jens “I’ll be your cruise director and hot blonde mentor on this adventure”, Haakon awkwardly not knowing what orphans are, and Gabriel Byrne wearing the hell out of some leather pants. Hope you enjoy!

Hey Loyal Listeners and welcome back to our latest Pirate Parley episode, Spielberg’s cult classic, Hook (1991). Listen to us discuss the Avengers-style team up potential between Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland, and Christopher Robin; Hook’s confusion with procreation; Smee’s adoption plan (it includes Pirate baseball); Rufio’s bitchin’ tri-hawk; the continuing mystery of child-sized pirate outfits at the ready, and the incomparable Robin Williams. Hope you enjoy!

Hey Loyal Listeners! We're back, shaking it up a bit with our latest Pirate Parley episode, The Goonies! Listen to us discuss the Fratelli's hand-blender skills, Josh Brolin's career from Baby Brand to Thanos, Mouth and his Duo Lingo prowess, Mikey's pirate fugue state of exposition, and what you've all been waiting for: the return of Joey Pants. Hope you enjoy!

We continue our streak of Errol Flynn pirate movies in today's Pirate Parley episode, The Sea Hawk! In this oar-snapping good time, listen to us chat away about the World War II pro-British politics that not-so-subtly snuck in, the return of pet monkeys (finally), the good old philosophy of a Captain going down with his ship (for a dignified 2 seconds of course), and light/traumatic romps in Panama swamps. Hope you enjoy!